Time to start really living.....

Tomorrow it will be 7 months since David's funeral.  I will always love David, nothing can change that.  But I think the time is right for me to start looking towards my future.  I don't know what will happen but I hope I will find love again.  After being half of a couple I can't imagine never having that in my life again.  The ability to be so completely honest with someone and know at the end of the day they still love you despite how much you might piss them off.  Marriage is a give and take and I loved every minute of it.  I loved being a wife and even if I knew then what I know now I would still do it all over again.  I am afraid of getting my heart hurt again, I would be an idiot not to be.  But I am more afraid of closing my heart and never loving another man the way I loved my David.  I would not have wanted him to stay alone if I had died first and I know he wouldn't want it for me.  And yet I sit here sobbing as I type this.  It's like having to let go of him all over again.  I hope I am ready for this and not fooling myself!  But what choice do I have?  I either remain in the past or I move forward with my life.