There should be no tears left...

In the past nine months I have cried so much that there should be no tears left in me.  I should have used up a lifetime supply, I'm pretty sure I have.  Yet they keep finding a way to come.  Since David died I have had what I consider two major crying jags.  I say only two because both of these lasted literally for hours and I wake up in the morning with a severe headache and extremely swollen eyes.  The first was the night of my birthday, why it was harder on me then his is still beyond me and the second was last night.  Why I sunk so deep last night I have no clue.  It wasn't an important date that I can think of.  I was just so filled with missing him that once the tears started there was no stopping them.  And even right now I sit here with them once again streaming down my face.  The loss of someone you love as much as I love David, it's a pain I can't describe and it's a pain no one should ever have to feel.  It is inevitable, if you and your spouse truly love each other as you should, then one of you will experience this pain.  For the one left behind this hell is very nearly unbearable.  Will I survive it?  In theory yes but at what cost?  Will I ever find love again?  I am told I probably will but I have my doubts.  I never thought anyone would want me and then there was David.  Lightening can't really strike twice, can it?