So my happy buzz from Saturday night lasted until I went to bed very late Tuesday night, technically very early Wednesday morning. I enjoyed seeing Eclipse with my friends. It was fun watching all three movies back to back and right now Eclipse is my favorite movie of the three. I totally loved Rosalie and Jasper in this one and they were never my fav's before.
However thus ended the happy buzz. I enjoyed feeling happy. I looked forward to waking up and not actually just wanting to roll over and go back to sleep. But it's gone and it didn't last long enough. 4 days though is the longest streak I have had since David died and like I was told earlier today now next I try for a 5 day streak and then each time longer and longer.
I don't know what I want anymore except all I really want is to be in David's arms. Even when things were at their worst I felt safe and secure in his arms and now I'm afraid I will never feel safe and secure ever again. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of being sad. But I don't know how to fix this. I don't know how to just flip the switch and be happy more and sad less. I want life to be easy for just once in my life. =(
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