Another first come and gone

They say the year of the firsts after a loved one dies is the hardest.  I think that's what they say anyway.  But I wonder if it really is.  Because this year of first so far in has not been as hard as I imagined they would be.  Mostly because I either had family or friends or family and friends with me for each and every one of them to make sure I have gotten through each of them in as much of one piece as can be expected considering.  I have gotten through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, his birthday, my birthday, the anniversary of our first date, our Anniversary which also happened to fall on Memorial Day, the kidney walk and now the 4th of July.  It makes me worry that because with the exception of two of those dates I did get through them really easily IMO, I worry that the year of seconds could be worse then the year of firsts.  Which is of course inviting trouble I know and is a sign of my being an introvert and over thinking everything.  Which I know I shouldn't do since I have been told I over think things to much by not one but two of my Pastor's.  But the introvert in me just can't stop doing it, though I think I am getting better at it.  Okay that was funny cause I said think and getting better about not over thinking lol!  Wednesday will be 9 months since David collapsed.  Three quarters of a year gone by since I heard his voice.  The ache of missing him grows stronger which is is comfort and a curse all at the same time.  Time doesn't heal all wounds it really does just make the heart stronger to keep getting up every morning and going on as if your heart hasn't been shred to pieces.