Well I made it through the year of firsts. Of course I was fairly numb for most of it. And I have been warned the second year can actually be worse then the first was. Whatever. And I'm not saying that because I don't care, I do and probably way to much. But I just can't worry about it or think about it to much or I will drive myself even further insane then I already am. It's going to be what it's going to be. Part of my problem is I build things up to much in my head so maybe if I try not to think about it, try not to worry about it before it happens. Just go with the flow. If I am sad I will be sad, if I am happy I will be happy, if I am mad or upset I will be mad or upset. I don't know where my life is going, maybe it will end up sucking even more then it already has. Or maybe some or all of my hopes and dreams will come true, I have no clue and I know now whatever is going to happen is going to happen and I have very little control over it. I don't know, guess I am feeling mellow or something tonight or just going with the flow of it kind of thing.
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