I'm just so lost...

The pain and sadness since last night has just grown and grown to the point I just don't know which way to turn.  I don't know who I am and I'm starting to forget who I was.  I thought turning more toward Church, towards God would help but I feel just as lost and confused today as I did the day David died.  All I do know is that I want to be with him, it is the only thing that makes sense to me.  He would make everything okay.  Nothing is ever going to be okay again, I just have to learn to accept it.  This is my life now and I hate it and I just have to learn to live with it.  I don't know how but I don't really have a choice.  The one thing I do know is this sucks it just really sucks and no pain I ever felt in life prepared me for this.