It's been awhile since I updated this.  I feel like I don't know where I am going.  It's like I am torn between loving David and knowing I need to move forward with my life.  I just miss him so much, more then should be allowed.  And I am lonely, I miss that companionship.  I miss laying in bed with my head on his chest and his arms around me.  I miss feeling safe and secure even when life well was scarey and unsure.  I have decisions I need to make and I wish he was here for me to get his opinion.  I am pretty sure I know what he would say but I still just want to hear him say it.

Basically I have finally been told I will be able to get financial aid for the fall semester at IPFW.  I don't know how much at this point though.  So I am torn between trying to stay working in the school system or finally biting the bullet and going back to school.  I need to make sure I can afford to do the school thing.  I need to know I will be able to pay my bills.  It's just all so scarey!