So my family doctor ran blood work last week. Got the results today. I have hypothyroidism. It explains a lot of stuff. Along with that diagnosis my cholesterol is also off along with my blood sugars. He was not concerned with my blood sugars at all. Felt once I got the thyroid under control that would get the blood sugars back to where they should be. They were just a little off. Of course he says this all calmly and matter of fact, while my head is spinning and I am trying to take it all in. He started me on a low does of medication for the thyroid and cholesterol and said we will increase as need be. Then of course he says we need to see what the mri results of my neck from this friday show. I know it's good that I know something is wrong and that I am now on track to correcting it, but I also know this is not going to be as easy as he makes it sound.
And in an update on switching neurologists. Not one single neurologist at the Parkview office is accepting patients. At least that is what I was told. Maybe I am reading to much in to it. But something feels hinky to me. Sorry but I don't buy it. I feel like they are all closing in ranks. I was given the option of staying with my current neurologist or seeing if any of the ones at the Lutheran office are accepting patients. I said I was willing to see if any of them at the Lutheran office was accepting patients. I do not trust the neurologist I am currently seeing. He wouldn't let me finish a sentence. He told me I can't have this or that without ever running all of the proper tests to rule it out. He made up his mind that I simply have a migraine and he isn't willing to look any further. I want a doctor who is willing to realize that not all headaches are migraines. That we each needed to be treated as individuals and that we needed to be treated with care and compassion and listened to!
I hurt, I hurt from head to toe. The only time I seem to find any relief is when I am lying flat on my stomach. Yes I finally found a position that works for both my head and my neck! Unfortunately I can't stay that way 24/7. LOL! Because of my neck my left arm and fingers and toes are "asleep" more then they are awake and it's starting to happen to my right side now as well. And I am beginning to think my lips and cheeks may never wake up again either. This living in limbo sucks and I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.
And I miss my husband. I want him here, with me. I need him. I just need him to be able to hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay, that he will be with me every step of the way. Yet he isn't here. I am having to do this without him. We were supposed to grow old together and I am stuck growing old prematurely by myself! Unless you have lost a spouse you can't even begin to imagine the ache that comes with it. How now matter how much time goes by you are still left with this enormous empty space in your life that just can never be filled by anything or anyone else. No matter how hard you try. I miss David.
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