By and large I really don't cry very much anymore about losing David.  But there are times, like now, when I am just overwhelmed with emotion and the ache of not having him here with me anymore.  My life is okay, I guess.  I'm working and have plans for the future and I have great friends.  And my faith is as strong as it has ever been.  But the day to day stuff you have to deal with, like allergies or sinus problems or shoveling out from a storm or something breaking in the house or just having to deal with a co-worker who is currently intent on making you feel like crap or a bout of insomnia or even just simple boredom.  Those are the times when I can feel that huge empty space in my life.  Those are the times when the ache in my heart is almost to much to handle and when the tears start and don't seem to want to stop.  It's when you can be in a room full of people and feel so utterly alone.  It will be 16 months soon since he took his last breath and I can't believe that much time has passed already.  I know I am a much stronger person now then I was then.  I know I can handle almost anything that comes my way now but I still miss him and need him in my life.  And I am really tired of crying over something that can't be changed no matter how much I wish it could.